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當(dāng)寵物變得比家人重要時(shí)
By the time Ellen and Joe Lollman reached their first anniversary, things were souring. They no longer took long walks together or spent weekend afternoons chatting over coffee at outdoor cafes. Each evening they holed up in separate rooms of their home reading or watching TV alone.
艾倫和喬羅爾曼結(jié)婚一年后，生活開(kāi)始變了味。他們不再長(zhǎng)時(shí)間一起散步，周末也不會(huì)一起在室外咖啡館里閑談一個(gè)下午。每天晚上，他們各自關(guān)在房間里一個(gè)人讀書(shū)或看電視。
Finally, fearful their marriage was on the rocks, the Dallas couple made an appointment with a therapist -- for their dogs.
最后由于擔(dān)心他們的婚姻會(huì)觸礁，這一對(duì)美國(guó)達(dá)拉斯夫婦與治療師約定了時(shí)間──卻是為他們的狗。
'We both had dogs a lot longer than we had each other,' explains Ms. Lollman. Yet it wasn't until she and her new husband moved in together after a long-distance courtship that their faithful companions actually met and, as luck had it, decided they hated each other. The Lollmans were forced to take sides.
艾倫解釋說(shuō)，他們兩個(gè)人在認(rèn)識(shí)彼此之前就與各自的愛(ài)犬相伴了。但兩人的狗直到他們經(jīng)過(guò)異地戀愛(ài)、最終結(jié)合并生活在一起后才打了照面，不幸的是，兩條狗互相看不順眼。夫妻倆只好各為其狗了。
Love triangles -- or, in this case, quadrangles -- involving pets might be the trickiest types of relationships.
把寵物也包含在內(nèi)的三角戀(或這里應(yīng)該是四角戀)可能是一種最微妙的戀愛(ài)關(guān)系。
We love our animal friends, of course, and for good reason. They're always happy to see us. They're forgiving of our faults. And if we care for them and show them affection, they will love us forever.
我們當(dāng)然有理由愛(ài)我們的動(dòng)物朋友。他們見(jiàn)到我們時(shí)總是很高興。他們會(huì)容忍我們的過(guò)失。如果我們關(guān)心他們、愛(ài)護(hù)他們，他們會(huì)一輩子都愛(ài)我們。
But the same is not necessarily true for humans, and there's the rub. Sometimes our slavish bonds with our pets can damage our relationships with family, friends and, especially, lovers.
但人卻不一定，人會(huì)有摩擦。成為寵物的奴隸有時(shí)會(huì)破壞我們與家人、朋友、特別是戀人的關(guān)系。
Consider Marina Wolak and Buck, her one-year-old German shepherd. One day last week, she served him steamed broccoli for breakfast, raw ribs for a snack, and a grilled chicken breast and baked sweet potato for dinner. Her husband, Kirk, says he and their 10-year-old daughter got the chicken for dinner, but had no sides.
設(shè)想一下瑪麗娜沃勒克和她一歲大德國(guó)牧羊犬巴克。上周的一天，她給它吃蒸椰菜當(dāng)早飯，生排骨做零食，烤雞胸和甘薯做晚餐。她的丈夫科克說(shuō)他和10歲的女兒晚上也吃了雞，卻沒(méi)有雞胸肉。
'Hello, what about us?' says Mr. Wolak, a 43-year-old computer consultant in Deerfield Beach, Fla. 'She caters to this dog and has nothing left in the tank for the family.'
43歲的科克沃勒克是佛羅里達(dá)州的一名計(jì)算機(jī)咨詢師。他說(shuō)，喂，我們?cè)趺崔k?她把狗喂得飽飽的，卻什么也沒(méi)給家里人留。
Mr. Wolak says his wife buys fresh beef, chicken and rabbit for Buck, takes the dog to the park three times a day and puts fresh sheets on the mattress in his kennel twice a week. 'She will stay up late if the dog needs an extra walk because he is constipated, but she can't stay up and spend a little quality time with her husband,' he says.
沃勒克說(shuō)他太太給巴克買(mǎi)新鮮的牛肉、雞肉和兔子，每天三次帶狗到公園里散步，每周給狗窩里的床墊換兩次床單。他還說(shuō)，如果狗患便秘需要多散步，他太太會(huì)很晚才睡。但她卻不會(huì)為了與丈夫一起好好待一會(huì)兒而晚睡。
Making matters worse: Both Mr. Wolak and their daughter are allergic to the dog. He estimates he has spent several thousand dollars on doctors' appointments, as well as a special air filter for their home. And, he says, he argues regularly with his wife over the cost of the dog's special diet, toys and training.
更糟的是：科克和他們的女兒都對(duì)狗過(guò)敏。他估計(jì)為了看醫(yī)生以及給家里買(mǎi)一個(gè)特殊的空氣過(guò)濾器，他已經(jīng)花了幾千美元。他們還常常為了狗的特殊飲食、玩具和訓(xùn)練等花費(fèi)爭(zhēng)吵。
'There is only one answer to fixing the wedge between us, and that is to get rid of the dog,' says Mr. Wolak, who believes that wouldn't be fair to Buck. 'So I am stuck with him -- and because he eats so damn well, he is going to live forever.'
科克說(shuō)，只有一個(gè)辦法能解決我們的問(wèn)題，那就是擺脫這條狗。但這對(duì)巴克不公平。所以我被狗纏住了，但它吃得這么好，可能永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)死。
Ms. Wolak, for her part, says, 'To get rid of Buck would be like getting rid of my daughter.'
瑪麗娜卻說(shuō)，離開(kāi)巴克就像離開(kāi)女兒一樣。
Of course, if a pet causes a rift in your relationship with another person, the problem may not be the animal.
當(dāng)然，如果一只寵物讓你與其他人的關(guān)系產(chǎn)生了裂痕，或許不是動(dòng)物的錯(cuò)。
So how do you keep the peace between your pet and your other loved ones?
那么怎樣才能保持寵物和愛(ài)人之間的和平呢?
James Serpell, a professor of animal welfare and director of the Center for the Interaction of Animals and Society at the University of Pennsylvania, warns against ascribing human emotions or motives to your pets. Don't allow the animal to become too close to you. (He won't let his dogs or cat sleep with him.) And don't take their behavior personally. 'Animals aren't that bright,' he says. 'They make simple associations, not complicated ones.'
瑟培爾是動(dòng)物福利教授，美國(guó)賓夕法尼亞大學(xué)動(dòng)物與社會(huì)互動(dòng)中心主任。他反對(duì)將人的感情或動(dòng)機(jī)歸咎為寵物因素使然。不要讓動(dòng)物與你變得太親近。(他不讓他的狗或貓和他一起睡。)不要從人的角度解讀動(dòng)物的行為。他說(shuō)，動(dòng)物沒(méi)那么聰明。他們只進(jìn)行簡(jiǎn)單的聯(lián)想，不會(huì)進(jìn)行復(fù)雜的想象。
If all else fails, there is always pet therapy -- it worked for the Lollmans. After their dogs nearly wrecked their marriage, they sent Darby, an Irish terrier, and Kacee, an Australian shepherd-border collie mix, to live with a trainer for four weeks. Then the entire family -- two people, two dogs -- met with the trainer once a week for 16 more weeks after the dogs came home.
如果其它方法都不管用，試試寵物療法。它對(duì)羅爾曼一家很有用。在這些狗幾乎毀壞了他們的婚姻之后，他們把達(dá)比(Darby，愛(ài)爾蘭梗)和凱茜，澳大利亞牧羊犬與邊境牧羊犬的雜交犬)送到訓(xùn)狗師處住了四個(gè)星期。在狗回家之后，他們一家(兩個(gè)人，兩條狗)在接下來(lái)的16周里每周與訓(xùn)狗師見(jiàn)一次面。
'It was as expensive as human therapy,' says Ms. Lollman, 63, chief financial officer of a lighting company. But it was worth it, says her husband, 65, an attorney: 'You don't discard a pet.'
艾倫羅爾曼說(shuō)，狗的治療費(fèi)和人一樣貴。她今年63歲，是一家燈飾公司的首席財(cái)務(wù)長(zhǎng)。但她的丈夫喬說(shuō)，這樣值得，不能拋棄寵物。喬今年65歲，是一名律師。
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